


Forever and Always

by gabbatron3000



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Living Together, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of miscarriage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, but some jatie and a hint of fimogen, darcy makes an appearance, mentions of character deaths, mostly eclare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabbatron3000/pseuds/gabbatron3000
Summary: After her gap year, Clare has decided on what she wants: Eli. She packs up and heads to New York to finally make all her dreams come true.
Relationships: Clare Edwards/Eli Goldsworthy, Fiona Coyne/Imogen Moreno, Jake Martin/Katie Matlin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. May 2015

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, I just really, really love it! Enjoy!

Clare had been working as an intern in Toronto Sun for almost a year. The pay wasn't the best, but it was enough to get her started at Columbia in the fall. As much as she loved journalism, it didn't compare to her love of fiction writing. Her time as an intern helped her realize that there was so much more in the world of creative writing, and more stories she could tell. She also discovered a new distaste for coffee following an accidental spill on a particularly nasty news anchor. Most importantly, she learned just how much she wanted Eli in her life. They texted almost every day, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to hold him tight and play with his hair while he told her about his day. She wanted to drive down the highway doing 90 at 2 am while they blasted "Paisley Jacket" and sang at the top of their lungs. She wanted his hands to roam over every inch of her body while they whispered dirty things to each other in the dark. She just wanted Eli.

The next day, Clare packed up her car, told her parents her plan, texted Darcy the good news, and headed straight for New York. While part of her was afraid, she was mostly excited. She knew who she was, with and without Eli, but her life wouldn't be complete without him in it. By the time she hit New York, the sun had already set and most parking spaces had already filled up. Clare settled on a slightly sketchy parking garage two blocks from Eli's apartment. Taking only her backpack and a small suitcase, she ran through the streets of the city, a smile on her face, toward the love of her life.

Eli had been staring at the same blank page for at least four hours. He had inspiration, ideas, a plot, but the second he sat down to write, it all flew away. He was two strokes away from winding up on YouTube when he heard a knock at the door. Shuffling over to the door, he peeked through the peephole to find a certain curly-haired beauty on the other side. Rapidly undoing the lock, Eli threw open the door and standing before him, completely out of breath, was-

"Clare." The two smiled the instant they saw each other.

"Hey, Eli," said Clare, still catching her breath.

"I did give you a key, you know," said Eli, busting out his iconic smirk.

"I thought it'd be weird, someone randomly showing up at your place." Eli bowed dramatically as he let Clare into his apartment. The place was small; a tiny kitchen sat in the right corner while the living room took up most of the space. Ahead of them was the bathroom, dimly lit by failing lights, and the bedroom right next to it, a trail of random articles of clothing leading to it.

"You have an office?" asked Clare, gazing into the second room on the other side of the bathroom.

"I do," said Eli, "although it's mostly just storage and empty bags of chips at this point."

"Ah, some things really don't change." Clare stared into Eli's beautiful eyes. God, how she missed them.

"I really missed you, Clare," said Eli. He reached for her hands, as though he would never be able to touch her again.

"I missed you too," said Clare. "That's why I'm here. I've learned a lot about myself this past year; who I am, what I want to do, the future I want to create. I'm strong and independent, and I can do it all on my own."

"I see." Eli looked down at his feet with a sad look in his eyes.

"But I don't want to do any of it without you." Eli looked back at Clare inquisitively. "I don't ever want to be without you again. I want the ups and the downs and the crazy and the boring. I want you, Eli. I love you."

"I love you too, Edwards." Eli swiftly pulled Clare in for an intense kiss. Clare let go of her belongings and wrapped her arms around Eli's neck, kissing him deeper.

"I also really want to have sex with you right now," Clare said breathlessly, breaking away from the kiss.

"Oh, God yes." Eli hoisted Clare up and she wrapped her legs around him with a smile and laughter. Lord, he had missed that laugh. He carried her over to his bed and gently laid her down, crawling on top of her. He kissed his way back up to Clare's lips, taking off his shirt just before capturing her mouth again. Clare moaned into the kiss, and she could feel Eli getting hard against her thigh. Breaking from the kiss, Clare lifted up slightly to take off her shirt, leaving only a black, lacey bra in her wake. Eli let out a shaky breath at the sight and took her in his arms again, nipping at her neck and making her quiver.

"Eli," Clare moaned. Eli groaned into her shoulder and snaked his hand around Clare's back, cleverly undoing her bra singlehandedly and sliding it off her shoulders. She shuddered a bit and grinned slightly.

"You are so beautiful," sighed Eli. He truly meant it. Every inch, every curve of her body, every stray strand of curly hair, every touch, he loved it all. He pulled Clare into his lap and kissed her once more. He took hold of Clare's breast with one hand while his other cupped her ass through her jeans. Massaging her nipple into its peak, Clare moaned into Eli's mouth. Eli took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into her mouth, and Clare began grinding against him. He groaned as he kissed his way down her neck, to her collarbone, to every sweet spot he knew would elicit a delicious sound from her throat. Still massaging one breast, he took the other into his mouth and felt her nipple harden on his tongue.

"God, Eli, don't stop", gasped Clare. Eli moaned around her breast and nipped at her, smiling when she let out a cry. Pulling away to look into Clare's eyes, Eli suddenly found himself on his back, with Clare smiling down on him.

"Someone's feeling feisty," Eli joked.

"I guess I just really missed you." Clare slid off the bed, nudging Eli's leg to give him the hint. He sat up on the edge of the bed as Clare ran her hands over his thighs. Eli placed his hand on top of hers.

"Clare, you don't have to," he said softly.

"I want to." Clare moved her hands to Eli's hips. Lifting up slightly, Eli watched in awe as Clare pulled off his sweatpants and underwear in one fell swoop. He took a shaky breath when he felt the cool air against his cock. It twitched upon the feeling of Clare's breath just above the head, and Eli had to refrain from letting out a cry when Clare darted her tongue out to taste him. The saltiness made Clare smile and without hesitation, she took as much as she could of Eli into her mouth and sucked. Eli groaned above her and tangled his hand in her curls.

"Fuck, Clare." Eli's face contorted in bliss, his hand roughly grasping her hair. He made sure not to be too forceful, but Clare's expertise made it very difficult for Eli not to thrust into her mouth and take her right there and then. As Clare sped up slightly, Eli could feel the sweat dripping down his face; he knew he wouldn't be able to hold off for much longer. He tugged Clare's hair and gently pulled her away.

"Too much?" she asked.

"Not at all," Eli smirked. "But if you keep that up, this will all be over much sooner than I would like. Come here." Eli pulled Clare up into another kiss, letting his hand fall to the button of her jeans. Clare straddled him as Eli let his finger dip into her panties, already feeling how wet she was for him.

"Eli," Clare moaned. He rubbed her clit lightly as she began gasping into their kiss. Eli flipped them over so he was back on top. He lifted her hips up and took off her jeans and panties, pausing for a brief second to admire the fact that Clare decided to wear matching panties.

"Clever girl," he whispered.

"You like?" Clare teased.

"Absolutely." Eli nipped at Clare's neck while he inserted his finger into her. Clare gasped at the sudden intrusion, but wrapped her arms around Eli tighter. Eli slowly thrust his finger in and out, while his thumb rubbed circles against her clit. Clare ground back against him, whimpering gently. Eli began to kiss his way down Clare's body, taking a special interest in placing light kisses on her inner thighs. As she trembled around him, Eli kissed that special place where his thumb had been just moments ago. Clare moaned loudly, and Eli darted his tongue out to taste her, inserting another finger as he teased her clit.

"God, Eli! P-Please don't stop!" Eli could feel her pulsing around his fingers; she was close. One clever flick of his tongue and Eli watched as Clare arched off the bed and spasmed around his fingers. Clare hardly noticed when Eli pulled out and began tasting her on his fingers.

"You okay?" Eli asked, licking his lips for the last drops of her.

"Always," Clare said breathlessly. She sat up slightly and pulled him close, kissing him once more, softer this time. Her hand wrapped around his cock, which had fallen to half-mast, and felt it fill up again at her touch. Eli moaned into the kiss, his arm twisting behind her to pull her closer. Clare moved to nip at Eli's neck and whispered "I want you" in his ear. Eli broke away and reached over to his bedside table, pulling a condom out of the drawer. Clare watched hungrily as Eli rolled the condom onto him, groaning slightly at the feeling.

"Come here." Eli pulled Clare into his lap, wrapping his arms around her to keep the balance.

"You sure about this?"

"I've got you. Forever and always," Eli nodded. He positioned himself at her entrance and let her sink onto him at her own pace. Clare grimaced at the intrusion and Eli moaned loudly into her shoulder. She pulled his head up so she could look into his eyes. God, his beautiful eyes.

"I love you," she whispered, sinking lower onto him.

"I love you, too," said Eli. The two smiled and kissed as Clare took Eli fully inside her. Pausing for a moment, Eli stared into her eyes, pushing some of her hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek.

"You are just as beautiful as the day I met you." Clare grinned widely at the sentiment.

"You told me I had pretty eyes," she smirked.

"You still do," said Eli. He kissed her again and began to move. Clare ground back against him, quickly setting a rhythm. She moaned loudly and dug her nails into his back. Eli had almost forgotten how much he loved the sounds she made in bed. They moved faster, and as Eli fondled Clare's breast and sucked more marks onto her neck, she pulled him closer and cried out his name.

"Clare! God yes, yes!" Eli grabbed her ass and began pounding into her as he came closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Eli! I-I'm right there!" Clare started to flutter around him as Eli claimed her. She moaned out his name and clenched around Eli as she came for a second time. A few short thrusts and Eli came as well, stuttering out her name into her shoulder. The pair shook in each other's arms, and Clare moved to lie down on the bed. Eli got up and disposed of the condom in the bathroom. Clare stared at the ceiling and broke into a fit of giggles. She felt truly happy, and knew this is what was meant to be. She belonged with Eli. As she moved to put her panties back on, Eli returned and dug through his drawers, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

"Figured you didn't pack a pair in that tiny little box," he joked.

"You'd be right," giggled Clare, catching the clothes and putting them on. "Most of my stuff is still in my car.."

"We can worry about moving you in tomorrow," said Eli, retrieving his boxers and t-shirt.

"Really?"

"Of course." Eli crawled into bed and Clare sat beside him. "Clare, I gave you a key for a reason. You have a drawer, several actually. I have two boxes of your favorite cereal in the cupboard and I've mapped out every single writing cafe to fit your impossible standards. I love you, Clare. I want you to stay."

"I was really hoping you'd say that," sighed Clare.

"You'd think I wouldn't?"

"No! It's just-I packed up my whole car, I don't know what I would do if something went horribly wrong-"

"Clare," Eli started. "Nothing is going wrong. Everything is going exactly right." Clare smiled and snuggled up next to him in bed. Eli turned off the lamp and pulled Clare close, her arm coming to rest over his chest.

"I love you, Eli Goldsworthy," she said in the darkness.

"Welcome home, Clare Edwards." Eli kissed the top of her head and the two quickly fell into a peaceful sleep.


	2. August 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I still don't own these idiots, but they own me ;)

Clare had had enough of the sweltering heat of the East Coast. She lay on the bed, half-naked and fanning herself with a few sheets of paper from her blossoming manuscript. It was only the first draft, and Clare didn't mind if it got sweat stains on it; it was a lousy first draft anyway.

"I could get used to this," Eli drawled, lying on the hardwood floor in front of the open window.

"What?"

"You lying all sweaty and naked on my bed."

"I thought it was our bed now, first of all," Clare said, sitting up to stare him down. "Second of all, I am not completely naked."

"Well, we can fix that," Eli said, hopping up off the floor and onto the bed next to Clare. He moved so that he was on top of her, slowly kissing her neck.

"Nooooooo," whined Clare. "Too hot!"

"I should hope so," laughed Eli.

"You're all sweaty," Clare giggled. "Get off me." Eli groaned, but complied.

"I guess you have a point," he said. "I think this shirt might be permanently stuck to me."

"Ugh, what are we supposed to do?"

"How about Coney Island?" asked Eli.

"Really?"

"Why not? We need something to celebrate the start of your Columbia experience next week, and if we stay in this hotbox, we'll melt. I'd prefer to melt on a roller coaster." Clare contemplated the idea, eventually tossing her first draft into the air.

"Go put some pants on." The pair scrambled to find clothes that weren't drenched in sweat and rapidly took off toward Eli's car out in the street. Rolling down all the windows, they blasted the radio and headed toward Coney Island with the wind in their hair and smiles on their faces. Half an hour and one obscenely expensive parking spot later, Clare took Eli by the hand and ran toward the first ride she saw. Two loops around the Cyclone was all it took for Clare to deem roller coasters the devil's game, but it didn't stop Eli.

"One ride on Thunderbolt," he pleaded.

"It has a 90-degree drop! I do not have that big of a death wish," said Clare.

"You have to experience it at least once!" Eli cried. "One ride and I promise, no more coasters, and I'll buy you all the cotton candy you want." Clare whined but allowed Eli to drag her toward the towering terror before them. She screamed then entire time, while Eli simply laughed, both at the thrill and at her.

"If you ever make me get on something like that again, I'll shave your head," said Clare, breathlessly.

"Oh, I won't" replied Eli. "I'm pretty sure you blew out my eardrums."

"I did try to warn you," Clare laughed. "Now, about that cotton candy…" Keeping his word, Eli bought her the largest swirl he could get his hands on, watching as Clare's eyes lit up like a toddler's. The pair took turns nibbling on the sugary goodness as they spun side by side on the carousel.

"You know what this reminds me of?" asked Eli with a mouthful of blue cotton candy. "The Frostival we had my senior year."

"Aw, that was when we started reconnecting," sighed Clare. She leaned over to kiss him, nearly falling off her horse in the process.

"That night will always be one of my favorite memories of you." Clare blushed at the sentiment.

"I love you," she smiled.

"I love you, too," said Eli. He reached over to steal more cotton candy as Clare laughed.

"Oh hell no, the last bite is mine." Eli exaggerated his pout as Clare stuffed the last of the candy into her mouth. Following their trip around memory lane, Clare set her eyes on a large stuffed pig and challenged Eli to a game of water guns, which was a big mistake.

"How the heck did you manage to not only win three times in a row but also manage to get me wet?" Clare gestured to the water stains on her shirt.

"I'm just that good," smirked Eli, giant pig under his arm. "Now, you will only receive this pork chop when you admit honest defeat."

"No way," said Clare. "You definitely cheated, somehow."

"Your loss." As soon as Eli looked away, Clare ripped the plushie from his arms and made a beeline for the beach. As she hit the sand, she ripped off her shoes, and with the pig, threw them into a pile and ran for the sea. She yelped as the cold water lapped at her feet, and Eli caught up and picked her up, spinning her around before placing her farther into the surf. The two splashed each other for a while, laughing all the way. In a split second, Eli could see nothing else but Clare, beaming in the sunset with saltwater dripping down her face. All he could feel was bliss and love. Clare looked at him inquisitively, and Eli placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her. Deepening the kiss, Clare wrapped her arms around him, completely content.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm just admiring how beautiful you are," said Eli.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, are you trying to seduce me?" joked Clare.

"I should hope so." He kissed her once more. "I love you, Clare."

"I love you too, Eli."

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Still sandy, the pair made their way back to the boardwalk for some of Clare's new favorite food: New York pizza. Eli watched in both awe and hilarity as Clare stuffed her face with pepperoni covered slices. The city life suited her, and Eli could see them building a life in New York together. Clare might only be entering her first year at Columbia, but Eli knew what was next for them. At that moment, fireworks began to illuminate the night.

"They have fireworks?" asked Clare.

"Oh yeah, almost every night," said Eli. "It helps ward off the evil spirits known as New Jerseyans."

"Don't say that too loudly," said Clare. "They might come and steal our pig."

"Peter Porker can fend them off," Eli joked. He joined his hand with Clare's across the table and together, they stared at the fireworks until midnight came. As they drove home, Clare sleepily stared at Eli, her head resting on the large stuffed animal. Part of her worried that living together while in school might cause strain, but she knew if they could get through the trauma they faced in high school, they can get through anything. At home, Clare promptly turned on the fan and opened the bedroom window, stripping off her clothing and flopping down on the bed. Eli laughed at the drama and left for the bathroom. As he brushed his teeth, he worked over a plan in his head. He knew working more hours was impossible given his course load, but as long as he saved more and ate fewer kabobs, he'd be able to make it. When Eli entered their room, Clare had slipped on a large t-shirt and lay sprawled out on the bed.

"And here I thought the whole point of the heat was to get naked," joked Eli, flopping down beside her and resting his arm around her waist. "Clare?" Unbeknownst to him, Clare had already fallen asleep. Smiling, Eli placed a kiss on her shoulder and laid down with his mind made up: he was going to marry her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are probably gonna be short-ish from now on, and I promise there will be more smut and maybe some drama! There will be time jumps, how far apart, I have no idea. This story writes itself. Enjoy, fellow Degrassians 3
> 
> Sidebar: I am allowed to make fun of NJ, I'm one of the idiots that lives in it, don't @ me


	3. December 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, RAPE, CHARACTER DEATH(S), TRAUMA, DRINKING, MISCARRIAGE, THE BUS CRASH, GRIEF
> 
> This chapter revolves around some heavy material coming from the end of Next Class Season Three. There is also somewhat graphic imagery regarding a character's death, and mentions of Clare's miscarriage. If any of this content is triggering for you, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> Also, Darcy makes a comeback uwu
> 
> Once again, I don't own Degrassi or any of these poor unfortunate souls who just need a goddamn hug

Winter break at the Edwards household consisted of more alcohol than Clare knew her mother even had. Glen and Helen planned a night in, but Helen decided to start the night babysitting her household to make sure nothing was destroyed.

"Helen, I promise you, there will be no roller skating down the stairs. You don't need to hover. We're adults." Jake had gotten home earlier that morning and already set his sights on a particularly expensive bottle of champagne.

"You know, you said that when I caught you smoking weed your senior year," replied Helen. "An event which, if I remember correctly, had you roller skating up and down the stairs and had Eli somehow wind up naked in Clare's bed."

"Okay, he was not naked, first of all," Clare explained. "Second, we are adults now, Mom. We're mature and can handle a night of drinking and having fun, sans parents." Helen smiled, knowing that at the end of the day, her kids could handle any chaos that came their way.

"Okay," she conceded. Clare and Jake high-fived each other as Eli walked through the front door.

"MY MAN!"

"JAKEY!" The two men leaped into each other's arms, holding on as though they would never see each other again.

"What am I, a grilled cheese?" Clare joked.

"Hey, you live with the guy," said Jake, his arms still wrapped around Eli. "Let me get some quality time for once." As the three laughed, Helen walked over, phone in hand and a smile on her face.

"I have a surprise that just arrived for you," she said.

"What is it?" asked Clare.

"Close your eyes, all of you." Confused, they all shut their eyes. The sound of the front door opening was heard, along with a second set of footsteps. "Okay, open your eyes." After readjusting to the light, Clare couldn't believe the sight that was in front of her.

"Darcy?!" she cried out.

"Surprise!" The two sisters hugged as Jake and Eli looked on in confusion.

"Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot you had a sister," said Eli.

"You're still alive?" Jake asked jokingly.

"I had to meet you in person at least once," replied Darcy. "Nice to finally see you, step-brother."

"The pleasure is mine, step-sister," drawled Jake, hugging her as well.

"Eli, good to see you again."

"Welcome back, Darcy," Eli replied. Helen moved to grab a drink and headed for her room.

"I suppose I'll let you all have fun," she said with a slight side-eye. Darcy and Clare both gave her a look and she retreated to her room, Glen shouting goodnight before shutting the door. Jake ran for the booze and came back with the champagne and a half-empty bottle of vodka.

"Let's get this party started."

_***Several drinks later*** _

The friends, now joined by Imogen, were all laughing in the living room, all of them pretty drunk.

"Wait wait wait," Darcy cried. "So you got high during school, got naked in the girl's locker room, and through the halls and into Mr. Simpson?!" Eli buried his head in shame, but laughed anyway.

"It was legendary!" laughed Jake.

"Definitely a sight to behold," said Clare. "You somehow managed to make me both angry and kind of horny."

"Oh really?" said Eli. "I like how honest drunk Clare is."

"Keep it in your pants, Goldsworthy," slurred Imogen. "The spirit of Drew Torres might return to claim her and her womb once more." At this sentiment, Jake promptly spat out his drink and yelled "YOU HAD SEX WITH DREW TORRES?!"

"You were pregnant?!" cried Darcy.

"Okay, so here's the thing," Clare started. "I only had sex with him once, thought he was the father, but it was actually Eli, and then I had a miscarriage because cancer ruined my uterus." Darcy and Jake looked stunned while Imogen took a shot and Eli started laughing again. "Yeah, senior year was a giant clusterfuck."

"Jesus Christ, I've been gone too long," mused Darcy. Imogen quietly handed her a shot, which she quickly downed.

"Oh hon, this is just the tip of the iceberg," said Clare.

"Yeah, these two knuckleheads dated for a while," Eli said, gesturing to Clare and Jake. Jake sank into his seat and Clare's face turned red as Eli and Imogen laughed.

"Was this before or after our parents got married?" asked a wide-eyed Darcy.

"Both!" laughed Imogen. Darcy took another shot along with Jake.

"Hey, we ended it shortly after the wedding," said Clare.

"And then I made out with Katie Matlin and the rest is history," Jake said, pouring out some more champagne, only to find the bottle empty.

"Speaking of which, where is Katie?" asked Imogen. "I thought you said she was coming. Fiona's only excused cause she's still in Italy."

"She's probably just running late," answered Jake. A second later, his phone went off. "Speak of the devil."

"Tell her to pick up more booze!" yelled Eli as Jake walked away to take the call.

"Yeah, we're gonna need it," laughed Darcy. A startled cry from Jake brought the noise to a grinding halt.

"Oh my God," he said. "No, I'm coming right now."

"What's going on?" asked Clare, as Jake ran around looking for his shoes and jacket.

"Katie's at the hospital," Jake cried.

"My God, what happened?" Darcy asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Jake said, pulling out his phone once more. "It's her sister, Maya. She OD'd. They think she tried to kill herself."

"What?!" cried Imogen. "Oh my God!"

"You're not driving," Darcy stated.

"Hell no, I'm taking an Uber." Jake ran out the front door as the other sat in shock. Clare looked at Eli, who was slightly pale and staring at the floor.

"Isn't Maya-" she started.

"Campbell's girlfriend?" whispered Eli. "Yeah."

"She was a founding member of WhisperHug," sighed Imogen sadly. "She was always so bubbly and nice. I mean, she was kinda different after Cam died, and she was in that bus crash, but I never thought she would-"

"You never know," said Darcy. "You never know what kind of demons haunt a person." Imogen sat crying while Clare stared at Eli, pale and focused on his feet.

"Eli…" she started.

"I'm okay," he said, taking a breath and sitting up to face her. "I'm okay."

"It's late," said Darcy, helping Imogen to her feet. "We should all try and get some sleep. Imogen, you can stay with me in my room." The two made their way up the stairs followed by Eli and Clare. Sometime later, while Eli went to the bathroom, Darcy came into Clare's room.

"Is Eli okay?" she asked.

"I think so," Clare said. "It's just a touchy subject."

"I could tell. Who's Cam?" Clare tensed up at the mention of his name. The memory was just as traumatizing for her as it was for Eli.

"Um...Cam was a student who went to Degrassi with us. He and Maya dated. When I was a junior...he killed himself. In the school greenhouse. Eli was the one who found the body. I was with him, but I only caught a glimpse before Eli pulled me away and told me to call the police." Clare sat on her bed, her nails digging into her knees.

"Oh my God," sighed Darcy, sitting next to her.

"Eli didn't cope with it really well. He kept having nightmares, and he wound up taking MDMA. That's why he went streaking, he was trying to find a way to deal."

"Clare, I am so sorry you two had to go through that." Darcy pulled her little sister into a massive hug. She had missed her so much, and felt guilty that she wasn't home when Clare was struggling with everything she had gone through.

"Hey." Eli stood in the doorway, a sad smile on his face.

"I'm gonna check on Imogen," said Darcy. She kissed Clare's head and made her way out, patting Eli on the shoulder. Suddenly, the sound of the front door broke through the silence.

"Jake?!" Clare cried out. The three ran to landing at the top of the stairs, with Imogen stumbling out of Darcy's room.

"What happened? Is she okay?" asked Imogen.

"She's gonna be okay," Jake said, looking at them from the bottom. Everyone sighed, and Imogen staring crying again. Clare looked at Eli, whispering, "She's gonna be okay" before hugging him tightly.

"Katie and her mom are staying at the hospital overnight," continued Jake. "I'm gonna go back in the morning, see if there's anything I can do."

"That's very sweet of you, Jake," said Darcy. "Get some sleep, okay?"

*********

Clare was woken up by the sound of someone screaming. The sound of Eli screaming. She bolted upright to find Eli sitting up, breathing heavily, tears streaming down his face.

"Hey hey hey what happened?" she asked, her hand on his shoulder. Footsteps came hurtling toward her room, and Darcy threw the door open and entered.

"What's going on?" she gasped.

"It's nothing," said Eli. "Just…"

"Had another nightmare?" finished Darcy. Eli shot her a confused look. "Clare told me about Cam. I know this whole is probably very triggering for you." She sat on the edge of the bed.

"You have no idea," whispered Eli. "This shouldn't be happening again."

"But it's okay if it does," Darcy said. "Trauma is a lifelong struggle. I deal with too."

"Really?" Darcy nodded.

"When I was in high school, I was raped. I went to a party and someone spiked my drink and took advantage of me. They never identified him. Right after it happened, I was really suicidal. Everywhere I turned, I was scared that he was there. I got help, and I healed over time, but sometimes I still get that feeling that any of the men around me could be him. And I panic. Sometimes I dream about the night it happened and wake up in a cold sweat. It's perfectly normal to relive the trauma sometimes, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about."

"I don't know why I keep thinking about that day," sighed Eli. "After everything that's happened… Julia, Adam, Little Adam, the hearse, the whole thing with Asher...it's always Cam."

"What about Cam was so different?" asked Darcy.

"I wasn't there when Julia and Adam died. Losing the baby was really sad, but not to that degree. But seeing Cam...lying there...blood all over the floor a-and his skates…" Eli started crying and put his face in his hands.

"It's more personal," said Darcy. "Because you witnessed death, not just the aftermath."

"It not fair," Eli whimpered. Clare laid her head on his shoulder, a few tears coming down her cheeks. "I didn't know him. I should be over it."

"That's not how grief works, Eli," Darcy said, shifting so that she was closer to them. "I'm gonna tell you what my therapist told me. Grief acts like this big box, and in the box is a big red button and a ball. At first, the ball is huge, and it constantly hits the button and makes you feel awful. Over time, the ball gets smaller and it hits the button less and less. But sometimes it still hits the button, and you feel that same amount of pain and sadness. And that's okay."

"Darcy's right," whispered Clare. "And this time, it's different. Maya's alive. She's gonna be okay."

"And you're gonna be okay too, Eli. You are not the same boy who crashed his car during a manic episode. You are stronger and wiser, and you and Maya will get through this." Eli looked at Darcy with puffy eyes.

"Thank you, Darcy." Darcy pulled the two of them into a hug.

"You're my family too, Eli. Don't forget that." Darcy let them go and Eli wiped away his tears. "If you ever need anything-"

"I'll make a pit stop in Kenya," joked Eli. The three laughed for a moment, and everything felt more normal than it had been in a long time. "Clare, remind me in the morning to call my therapist." Clare nodded, and Darcy gave her another kiss on the head before heading back to bed. "Have I ever told you how much I love your siblings?" Clare giggled as they held each other and fell back into bed.

"I feel the same," she said. She kissed Eli and wrapped herself around him, the two falling back into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW what a rollercoaster... I promise future chapters will be more lighthearted, but not without their drama hehehe... Let me know what y'all think!
> 
> And yes, that box metaphor came from a Tumblr post


	4. May 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, you horny bastards :0

“Where are you taking me?” Clare asked, being led by Eli to an unknown location, blindfolded and in a particularly short dress.

“Didn’t I tell you?” said Eli. “I made a secret sex dungeon.”

“Ha ha,” joked Clare. “No, seriously.”

“Just wait and see.” Although a bit nervous, Clare was curious as to what Eli had planned. Based on the feeling below her feet and the sounds being made, they were in a woodsy area, possibly up on a hill. Eli stopped her in her tracks and removed the blindfold. After taking a second to adjust to the light, Clare was greeted by the sight of a lavish picnic and twinkling lights surrounding the church ruins they discovered in high school.

“Eli,” gasped Clare. “This is...so beautiful.”

“Adam’s party for Fiona gave me some inspiration,” Eli said. He was dressed in a suit, minus his jacket due to the humidity. “Milady.” He gestured to the picnic and the pair sat.

“Do I detect a bottle of rosé?” asked Clare.

“With bubbles,” Eli replied, hoisting the pink prize into the air.

“Aw, you know me so well.” Eli really hoped he did. Otherwise, this proposal was not going to go well.

“Would you care for some grapes, Your Grace?” he exaggerated.

“But of course,” Clare said, just as dramatic. “Feed me, Seymour.” Following their feast, the two laid out under the stars and twinkling lights.

“Thank you for such an amazing date,” sighed Clare.

“Oh, it’s not over yet,” Eli said. It was time. “There’s something hidden behind the rock wall.”

“Really?” Clare jumped up and looked for her treasure with a smile on her face. As she rooted through leaves and dirt, Eli got into position. “I can’t find it.”

“Turn around.” Clare whipped around to find Eli down on one knee, ring in hand. “Oh, my God…”

“Clare, you are the love of my life. I can’t imagine going any further in my life without you, and I know that I’ve hurt you in the past. I promise I will spend the rest of my life atoning for my mistakes if it means I can spend it with you. And I know that you’ve still got a few years in school and we’re both trying to get our shit together, but I’m not saying we have to get married now, we can wait for a few years-”

“Eli-Eli, stop.” Clare leaned down to kneel in front of him. Smiling softly, she placed her hands on his face and kissed him deeply. Eli pulled away with a look a hopeful confusion.

“Wait, so-” he started.

“It’s a yes,” breathed Clare. The two broke into wide smiles and laughed. “Yes, Eli, I will marry you.” Eli happily slid the ring onto Clare’s finger, with Alli had correctly predicted would be the correct size. Eli made a mental note to thanks her for the advice and for somehow keeping this whole affair a secret. The pair stood up and Eli twirled Clare around, kissing her deeply. Neither was quite sure how they ended up against a stone wall with Clare’s legs wrapped around Eli’s waist, but they didn’t complain.

“I don’t have a condom,” Eli said breathlessly.

“I’m still on the pill, it’s fine,” said Clare. They brought their mouths together once more as Eli reached down to unzip his pants and free his already leaking cock. Pulling Clare’s panties to the side under her dress, he slowly began to enter her, kissing her neck as she moaned in pain and pleasure. A moment passed before he began to thrust into her, no longer caring if any students decided to pass by and become scarred for life. Clare gasped loudly and reached a hand down to touch herself while Eli fucked her.

“Fuck, Eli,” she moaned. Eli quickened his pace, breathing out Clare’s name like a prayer. Clare practically screamed as her orgasm quickly overcame her. Eli felt her walls clench around him and after a few quick thrusts, he came deep inside the woman he loved.

“I love you, I love you,” he breathed slowly as they both came down from their high. Eli gently lowered Clare to the ground but kept her against the wall in case her knees gave out.

“You are something else, Elijah Goldsworthy,” said Clare, drowning herself in his eyes.

“I’m yours,” he replied, kissing her softly.

“And I’m yours, fiance.” Eli walked Clare back to the car, grabbing what was left of their picnic on the way. He took a towel from the trunk and gave it to Clare to cleanse herself, and the two laughed the whole way home, joking about the many ways their parents might have heart attacks when they decided how and when to tell the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more to their story so stay tuned!!


	5. November 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And He said "Let there be angry sex"

“Could you at least put in headphones? I’m trying to finish my story.” Eli’s senior film had taken over the entire apartment, and Clare had had enough of the dialogue making its way into her article.

“Well I’m sorry my senior film is an inconvenience to you,” Eli snapped. This wasn’t the first fight they had; the end of the semester was taking its toll on both of them.

“All I am asking for is just a few minutes of quiet so I can finish this for my editor tomorrow.”

“I need this to play out loud so I can get an idea of what the acoustics are like.”

“And you can’t do that in the bedroom?! Or literally anywhere else?!” Eli huffed and slammed his computer shut before stomping into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. Clare sighed angrily but knew it would be better for them to have some space to cool down. An hour and an obscene amount of fluff later, Clare walked into the bedroom to find a still upset Eli staring at his computer.

“Come to yell at me some more?” Oh boy, Clare thought.

“My article went great, thanks for asking,” she said sarcastically.

“Sorry that my senior film is a little more important to me.” Clare stopped in her tracks and stared at him.

“So my internship with the New York freaking Times is unimportant?!” she yelled.

“My college career and my future depend on this film!” Eli yelled back.

“And mine depends on this internship!” snapped Clare. “Suddenly your life is more important than mine?”

“Right now? Yes!” The silence between the two became deafening.

“Fuck you, Eli.” Clare turned to exit the room.

“Hey! Come back here,” said Eli, closing his computer and hopping off the bed to follow her. He beat her to the door and shut it behind him, trapping them in.

“Elijah Goldsworthy, let me out of this room or I swear to God I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Eli growled. The anger between the two suddenly developed into something more animalistic. Clare surged forward and captured Eli’s mouth with hers, biting his bottom lip in the process. Eli, in turn, grabbed Clare’s hips roughly and flipped them around so Clare was pushed up against the door. Taking her hands and pinning them above her head, Eli began attacking her neck, leaving bite marks and red spots in the process. Clare’s moaning only made Eli bite harder and he bucked involuntarily toward her.

“Get on the bed,” he growled. Clare hurried over to the bed, tossing her shirt and bra off in the process. Eli completely stripped down, showing off his already hard and leaking cock. Clare could feel her panties becoming soaked as Eli laid on top of her and kissed her once more.

“Put your mouth on me,” she moaned as Eli continued thrusting against her. Eli roughly took off her jeans and panties, not caring if he tore them in the process. He kissed his way down her boy, stopping to take one of her nipples in his mouth while he massaged the other. Clare’s hands twisted themselves into Eli’s brown curls, tugging downward to give Eli the hint. Eli slid to his knees of the floor, pulling Clare over to the edge with him. With another harsh growl, he dove into her folds, licking her clit and inserting one finger into her. Clare gasped loudly at the intrusion, releasing one hand from Eli’s hair to grasp at the sheets. Eli moaned against her and inserted another finger, rapidly thrusting them in and out as he kissed her sweet spot.

“ _Oh, Eli_ ,” moaned Clare, legs shaking around Eli’s shoulders. She could feel her insides twisting as she neared her climax. Suddenly, Eli ceased his teasing and stood up, eliciting a whimper from Clare.

“Get on your knees,” he whispered. Clare didn’t hesitate to comply, flipping herself over and wiggling her ass in the air, taunting him. Eli groaned as he positioned himself behind her, grabbing the back on her neck and forcing her on her elbows. He pushed into her, causing them both to moan loudly.

“ _Oh, fuck_ ,” said Eli, as he slowly began to move in and out of Clare. Her moans grew louder with each thrust to the point where the neighbors surely heard what was happening. Eli gripped her hips and let himself lose control of his thrusts, pounding into her hard and fast. Clare’s moans bordered on screaming, which only brought Eli closer to the edge. He paused occasionally to slap her ass, enjoying her gasps of pleasure. Clare found herself facedown on the sheets, using one arm to keep her balance and the other to touch herself. Eli could feel her beginning to pulse around him and thrust into her with a renewed vigor. She came with a loud scream, and Eli quickly followed with a grunt as he emptied himself in Clare. The pair collapsed on the bed, breathing hard and waiting for the blood to return to their heads. Clare stood up without a word and walked out and into the bathroom. Eli heard the shower turn on and cleaned himself up, deciding his film could wait until tomorrow.

When Clare re-entered, Eli was already curled up in bed.

“I’m still mad at you,” she said, digging out pajamas from the dresser.

“I know,” replied Eli. “I’m still mad too.” Clare crawled into bed, turning away from Eli. “Maybe we should have more angry sex.”

“Ask me again tomorrow,” Clare sighed, reaching over to turn off the lamp. Now in darkness, the two curled up and started to fall asleep, still turned away from each other.

“I love you, Clare,” Eli said into the night.

“I love you, too,” replied Clare.

“Forever?”

“And always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, they won't fight anymore................. but the crazy doesn't stop here, friends ;)


End file.
